Escape to Martian Paradise: Gotemba's Hidden Gem Awaits!
Escape to Martian Paradise: Gotemba's Hidden Gem Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! We're diving headfirst into Escape to Martian Paradise: Gotemba's Hidden Gem Awaits! and honestly… it's a bit of a rollercoaster. I'm not going to lie, I went in with certain expectations, and some of them, well, let's just say they got utterly torpedoed in the best possible way.
First, the Vibe: Accessibility and Security – A Real Mixed Bag
Let's start with the nitty-gritty. Accessibility is crucial. So, how's it holding up? Well, Facilities for disabled guests is listed, which is a good sign, but I'd want specifics before committing. Elevator? Check. That's a win. Car park [free of charge] is fantastic. Car park [on-site]? Also good, but double-check if it's actually free. CCTV everywhere, outside and inside, is present, which is nice and security, but I personally find it a little bit intrusive. It's like Big Brother is watching your spa day. Check-in/out [express] and Contactless check-in/out are definitely pluses these days, but are there any actual employees to welcome you?
The Rooms: A Cozy Bubble… Maybe A Little Too Cozy?
My room? Ooh, boy. The air conditioning was a lifesaver… until it conked out at 3 AM. (Rant incoming!) I woke up sweating. The blackout curtains were amazing though, absolute pitch darkness. The free Wi-Fi? Yeah, it worked, but sometimes the hotel walls feels like they're blocking out your connection to the world and sometimes, it's just going to fail. Okay, breath. The complimentary tea was a nice touch.
Speaking of rooms…
Available in all rooms:
- Additional toilet
- Air conditioning
- Alarm clock
- Bathrobes
- Bathroom phone
- Bathtub
- Blackout curtains
- Carpeting
- Closet
- Coffee/tea maker
- Complimentary tea
- Daily housekeeping
- Desk
- Extra long bed
- Free bottled water
- Hair dryer
- High floor
- In-room safe box
- Interconnecting room(s) available
- Internet access – LAN
- Internet access – wireless
- Ironing facilities
- Laptop workspace
- Linens
- Mini bar
- Mirror
- Non-smoking
- On-demand movies
- Private bathroom
- Reading light
- Refrigerator
- Safety/security feature
- Satellite/cable channels
- Scale
- Seating area
- Separate shower/bathtub
- Shower
- Slippers
- Smoke detector
- Socket near the bed
- Sofa
- Soundproofing
- Telephone
- Toiletries
- Towels
- Umbrella
- Visual alarm
- Wake-up service
- Wi-Fi [free]
- Window that opens
That's a LOT of stuff. Which is good!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Where the Adventure Begins (and Ends?)
Okay, the food. This is where things get interesting. Listed here we have Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant. And a la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant.
The Buffet? I went. Twice. The first time was a revelation. Fresh fruit, crispy bacon, the works. I loved it. The second time? Let's just say the bacon had clearly seen better days. Sigh. The coffee shop… well, it's coffee. The poolside bar seemed perpetually understaffed.
Things to Do (and Ways to Relax): The Spa… Or Not?
The Pool with view is a fantastic element. The Sauna and Spa offered a much-needed escape. The Gym/fitness… yeah, I spotted it. I didn't use it. But hey, it's there! The Foot bath was lovely on tired feet. They have Massage, Body scrub, and Body wrap. I did not try.
Cleanliness and Safety: Gotta Say, They're Trying
This is where Martian Paradise shines. Anti-viral cleaning products? YES! Hand sanitizer everywhere? YES! Daily disinfection in common areas? YES! Rooms sanitized between stays? YES! Staff trained in safety protocol? You betcha. They're clearly taking this seriously, which is massively reassuring. Individually-wrapped food options are a boon, and the cashless payment service is a nice touch.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
They have all the expected things. Concierge, Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Room service [24-hour], Luggage storage, etc. It's all there.
For the Kids
I went alone, so this didn't matter to me. But they have Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, and Kids meal.
For the kids…
- Babysitting service
- Family/child friendly
- Kids facilities
- Kids meal
Getting Around:
Airport transfer is available, which is REALLY handy. Taxi service too. I used Car park [free of charge], but like I said, double-check.
The Verdict: A Mixed Bag, But One Worth Unpacking
Overall, Escape to Martian Paradise is a hidden gem with a definite personality. It's not perfect (that AC!), but it tries really hard. The safety measures are top-notch, and the potential for relaxation is HUGE. You just have to go in with realistic expectations and a willingness to embrace the quirks.
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My Unsolicited, Highly Opinionated Offer to You:
Tired of the same old vacation? Craving an escape? Escape to Martian Paradise!
Here's the deal:
- Immerse yourself: Unwind in a luxurious room with blackout curtains and free Wi-Fi.
- Relax: Pamper yourself at the spa with a massage or sauna.
- Dine: Sample Asian and international cuisine.
- Safety First: Enjoy peace of mind with top-notch hygiene and safety protocols.
- Explore: Discover the beauty of Gotemba and Mt. Fuji.
Book Now and get a free welcome drink at the poolside bar (if it's open - no promises!). Bonus: If you mention this review, I will personally send you my sympathy card if that AC fails!
Click Here To Book
Luxury Living Awaits: Livensa Studios in San Sebastian, Spain!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your sanitized, Instagram-perfect itinerary. This is… me, flailing in the pristine beauty of Mars Garden Wood Gotemba Hotel. Prepare for chaos, questionable decisions, and a whole lotta emotional baggage.
My Messy Mishap in the Shadow of Fuji-san: A Gotemba Adventure (Probably)
Day 1: Arrival and Existential Dread (with a side of Tempura)
- 14:00 (ish): Landed at Narita (NRT). The flight was…flight-y. Found a weirdly aggressive travel brochure for a singing cat cafe, immediately regretted not packing enough snacks. The customs agent had the dead-eyed stare of someone who’d seen too many screaming toddlers. I probably looked like a sleep-deprived walrus.
- 16:00 (ish): Got on the Shinkansen to Odawara. Beautiful, right? Mount Fuji peeked out like a shy teenager. Took a ridiculously blurry photo. Then, the emotional baggage hit. Started thinking about all the things I should be doing instead of, you know, existing in a country I barely understand. Minor panic attack, followed by a strong desire for a gigantic KitKat.
- 18:00 (ish): Finally at Mars Garden Wood. Holy. Crap. It's like a Swiss chalet got lost in a Japanese dream. The lobby smelled of… well, I don't know what exactly, but it was comforting. Checked in. My Japanese is terrible, so it involved a lot of pointing, smiling, and hoping for the best.
- 19:30: Dinner at the hotel's tempura restaurant. The tempura was divine. Light, crispy, and dipped in sauces that made my eyes roll back in pure bliss. I ate way too much. Afterwards, I had a moment of pure catharsis when I looked up at the stars.
- 21:00: Stumbled back to my room. The futon felt like a cloud. Fell asleep immediately, dreaming of deep-fried perfection.
Day 2: Fuji-san, Fumbles and Facial Masks
- 07:00: Woke up early. Jet lag is a cruel mistress. Peeked out the window. DAMN. Fuji-san was out in all her glory. I got so excited, I almost forgot to brush my teeth. Almost.
- 08:00: Breakfast. Buffet. My weakness. Ate a mountain of pastries, eggs, and questionable-looking pickled vegetables. Still, the view was spectacular.
- 09:00: Tried to book a bus tour to the Fuji Five Lakes. Failed miserably. My attempts at speaking Japanese were met with polite confusion. Resorted to frantic pointing at a map and making hopeful noises. Apparently, there's a language challenge, and you should consider booking it earlier. I was already feeling a bit defeated. Needed to buy some new socks.
- 11:00: Decided to wander around the hotel grounds. Found a secluded little garden. Sat on a bench with a book. It was…peaceful. Until a rogue flock of birds decided to stage a coup and poop all over the place. Rude.
- 13:00: Lunch. Ordered something I couldn't quite identify. Tasted surprisingly good. Felt a swell of optimism and the strong urge to buy a really unnecessary souvenir, like a Fuji-san-shaped sponge.
- 14:00: The Spa Time! They say that for relaxation, you must prepare at your choice spa. It did not fail the task. The water was soothing and relaxing. I emerged feeling…slightly less frantic.
- 16:00: Got lost in the gift shop. Ended up buying a face mask that promised to make me look like a Geisha. Figuring that'd be the only way to look local.
- 17:00: Back in the room. Slathered on the Geisha mask. Looked terrifying. Took several selfies. Deleted all of them.
- 19:00: Dinner at the hotel's French restaurant. Felt fancy. Accidentally spilled red wine on my shirt. Mortified. Had to laugh. The food was good, though.
Day 3: Fuji-san, Shopping Spree and Departure (and maybe, just maybe, a moment of Zen)
- 07:00: Woke up again early. Fuji-san was back! This time, I was prepared. Took a decent photo. Or, at least, a less-blurry photo.
- 08:00: Breakfast. More pastries. No regrets. Needed to make a shopping spree at Premium Outlets.
- 09:00: It's shopping day! I had to buy an item for my friends. I brought all my money and started. I bought a goodie bag.
- 14:00: I had to go to the hotel and go to the onsen. I enjoyed it so much.
- 17:00: Packing my bags. Reflecting on the trip. Felt a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving.
- 19:00: Last dinner at the hotel's buffet.
- 21:00: Getting ready to sleep.
Departure:
- 7:00: Leaving the hotel. Checking out.
- 9:00: Shinkansen to Tokyo.
- 10:00: Airport.
- 12:00: Flight home.
Reflections:
Okay, this was messy. There were fumbles, moments of existential dread, and a whole lot of questionable food choices. But did I see Fuji-san? Yes. Did I eat amazing tempura? Absolutely. Did I (eventually) find a moment of peace? Maybe. Maybe.
This trip wasn't perfect, but it was real. And that, my friends, is what makes it worth remembering (and probably laughing about for years to come).
Luxury Lives Here: The Queen's Condo, Knightsbridge, Makati!
Okay, so what *is* this thing anyway? Like, what even *are* FAQs? And why are we doing them?
Alright, settle down, Sparky. FAQs… Frequency Asked Questions. It's a fancy way of saying "Stuff people are constantly asking, so let’s get ahead of the curve and answer it before they even *ask*." Why are *we* doing them? Because someone, somewhere, thought it was a good idea. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. But hey, here we are. Maybe it'll stop *someone* from sending me another email at 3 AM asking about... well, let's just say some particularly *interesting* inquiries I've got. Ugh, the things people ask. Anyway, that’s the general idea. Now, let's get to the *real* questions, shall we?
How do I… you know… *do* the thing? Whatever the thing *is* we’re talking about. (Details, people, details!)
See, that's where the real fun begins... or the utter confusion, depending on the day. Without knowing *what* "the thing" is, I'm flying blind here. We're talking, what, rocket science? Underwater basket weaving? The secret to happiness (kidding! Nobody knows that)? Look, if you're talking about assembling a complex flat-pack furniture item, I *feel* you. I spent a weekend once, fighting tooth and nail with a certain Swedish monstrosity. The instructions? A picture of… a stick figure… assembling… something. Let's just say the end result looked less like a bookshelf and more like a modern art experiment involving warped particleboard and existential dread. The point is, context, people. Give me some *context*. Also, bring snacks. Always bring snacks. And maybe a stress ball.
I messed up! Seriously, completely, utterly. What do I do now? (Panic level: 10)
Breathe. Deep breaths. Okay, now, let’s assess the damage. Did you accidentally set your hair on fire while attempting a flambé recipe? Did you accidentally… well, you get the idea. We all screw up. It's human nature, and honestly, some of the best stories start with a monumental blunder. I once… okay, fine, I’ll tell you. I once tried to “remodel” a bathroom (don't ask). I thought I was being clever, DIY-ing all the plumbing. Let's just say I flooded the downstairs neighbor's apartment. Twice. The *first* time I blamed the dog. The second, well, I'd hit rock bottom. So, what do you do? Admit defeat (eventually), assess the damage (more deeply than you want to), learn from it (or try!), and move on. And maybe call a professional. Seriously. Especially with plumbing. And always check with the neighbors when doing major repairs. Just saying.
Where do I even *begin*? I'm overwhelmed!
Okay, okay, I get it. Overwhelm is a real, and often crippling, beast. It can feel like staring into the abyss, except the abyss is a mountain of things you *have* to do. Slow down and breathe... again. Start small. Break it down into tiny, manageable steps. Like, *really* tiny. Instead of "Write a novel," try "Write one sentence." Instead of "Clean the entire house," try "Pick up one sock." Seriously. That one sock is a victory. Reward yourself for each tiny victory. A cookie? Sure! A nap? Absolutely! And if you're still overwhelmed, take a break, get some air, and come back to it later. Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective... and maybe some chocolate. I'm sensing a theme here with the snacks...
What if I *really* don't understand this? Am I an idiot? Be honest.
Oh, honey. *Everyone* feels like an idiot sometimes. I've spent hours staring blankly at instructions, feeling my brain slowly liquefy. I struggle with things *all the time*. I once spent a full afternoon trying to program my new smart thermostat... and ended up accidentally turning the heat on in the middle of summer. My neighbors thought I was insane. I *am* pretty sure I lost brain cells that day. The thing is, the feeling of not understanding isn’t a reflection of your intelligence. It's a reflection of *not knowing something*. Maybe the instructions are badly written, or poorly explained. Maybe you just need a different perspective. Ask for help. Google it. Watch a YouTube video. Ask a kid. (Seriously, sometimes kids are wizards). No, you are *not* an idiot. You are learning. And learning is a messy, imperfect, and wonderfully human process. Now go on, get in there and give it another shot. And if it *still* doesn’t click, take a break and come back. Or ask a friend. Or even me. Okay? We’re in this together.
Is this going to be *hard*? Be real with me.
Look, let's be honest: *probably*. Pretty much everything worthwhile is hard. Think about learning to ride a bike: wobbling, falling, scraped knees... And then, eventually, glorious freedom. It's the same with most things. There will be frustration, setbacks, and moments where you want to throw your hands up in the air and scream. I've been there. I'm going through it *right now*. (Don't even get me started on my recent attempt at sourdough. Let's just say the starter looked... alive... in a way that wasn't entirely comforting.) BUT, and this is a big but, the feeling of accomplishment after you've overcome the difficulty? Pure gold. Worth every ounce of effort. So yes, it might be hard. But you are also probably more capable than you think. Be kind to yourself, keep going, and celebrate those small wins. That sourdough? It was definitely a win, even if it looked it could defeat me. You got this! And by the way, if it isn’t hard, maybe you aren't pushing yourself hard enough!
What's the *best* way to do this? Any secrets? I *need* shortcuts!
Ah, the allure of the shortcut. We all want them! The secret? There is no *one* "best" way. There are only ways that work *for you*. (And, yes, sometimes there are actual shortcuts, but those are usually only found after the long, hard way. That’s the catch). The best way is the way that you stick with. The way that keeps you motivated. The way that makes you actually want to… well, *do the thing*. Experiment! TryHotels In Asia Search
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